Breaking Up is Hard to Do

As judge of Paternity Court, I hear plenty of testimony about failed relationships. No one is immune from heartbreak. No matter how hard we try and escape it, we will all experience it at some point in our lives. In my 50 years on this earth, I’ve had my heart broken a few times. I’ve learned that there is no getting around the emotional processing  that is required to fully heal from a tough breakup. Here are a few: 

1. 1. What did you learn? The unfortunate truth is that not all relationships  were meant to last forever. Some people come into our lives to teach us something about ourselves. You may feel like the breakup is happening to you, when it might be happening for you. Losses are always loaded with lessons. 
   2. Let go! Girl! Let Me Tell You… Please do not stalk your ex on social media, drive by his  house, hold onto old photos, or continually reminisce about what could’ve or should’ve happened. Because it didn’t. The sooner you let go over Mr. Wrong, the sooner you make room for Mr. Right.
   3. Heal! Like I always say on Paternity Court, “Don’t seek comfort under the covers!” Resist the urge to quickly fill the void of your ex with someone else. Rebound relationships rarely work, and no one wants to be a consolation prize.Take the time you need to properly love on yourself so you are able to receive love from the right person when it comes back around. 
   4. There is love after love! A breakup can feel like it’s the end of the world, but as one of my  favorite quotes confirms, “There is love after love.” Trust that you will find love again. Love is limitless.
   5. Don’t rush! Take the time that YOU need. Only YOU can determine how long that is. Don’t feel rushed by pushy friends or family members who mean well but have no idea how challenging the process may be for you. Consider seeking counseling or therapy if you begin to experience symptoms of depression or need an objective ear.